Are you finding yourself in the same situations day after day, in something that you said that you would not let happen? Are you constantly finding yourself being in a toxic work environment or relationship despite leaving the last one? Why do I go out Sunday night when I work early Monday morning? Something that isn’t commonly discussed is something called self-sabotage and you might be doing it more than you realize. 

The Signs 

There are numerous ways you can self-sabotage and the good news is—it is possible to stop these bad habits. A broad example to start off with is practicing perfectionism and procrastination. These two ways of living are the first things to think of when you are self-sabotaging due to the fact that they promote unhealthy lifestyles. Other ways include: not giving yourself a break, self-generating stress, overspend, and constantly make decisions for other people. Psychology Today released a quiz that you can take to self-evaluate whether or not  you have some of these habits here

What Can Trigger Self-Sabotage? 

Believe it or not, self-sabotaging can form into a habit, a very dangerous one to your overall health. These can actually be extremely difficult to pinpoint and it will be different for everyone depending on how they self-sabotage. A common ground that most people have though is trauma. Whole Wellness Therapy states: “Trauma can change the way we think, feel, and act for a long time after the initial event. For many people, this could mean flashbacks or nightmares, a constant feeling of being on edge, loneliness, anger, intrusive thoughts and memories, self-destructive actions, and more.” Following this, self-sabotage is included due to the overwhelming amount of change to the way we think and handle situations. It’s important to have an in-depth self reflection when it comes to identifying triggers; however. seeking help from a professional is encouraged. 

How to Stop 

The first step to stop self-sabotaging is realizing that you are responsible for your own actions. Like mentioned previously, you also need to self-assess on the core issue of why you are self-sabotaging and go from there. If you do not get to the legitimate root of your problem, you won’t get out of the loop. Here are some tips to break the cycle: 

  • Moderate your thinking bias. If you’re unsure of your thinking process— research it. 
  • If you’re forgetful and procrastinate, set reminders way before they are due.
  • Practice decision making. 
  • Don’t make decisions on a whim. 
  • Practice self-care.
  • Accept that life will go other ways than planned. 

These are broad ideas to consider and to practice when stopping self-sabotage but it is possible to stop completely. Don’t be so hard on yourself and realize that it takes time to get better.